Most people I have said a final goodbye to are dead. This however is an unusual foreign feeling that doesn’t seem to want to go away, its hard to understand yet perfectly understandable.
Its a written law of the stars that we, that is Saggitarians, do not leave unresolved friendships behind, a record in this ledger is exclusive and permanent. This perhaps is a source of the problem.
Many things are gained in sharing a moment in time, the title of my story for instance hit me square in the face during our explorative. My biography, if it were ever worth writing, should be titled ‘The Living Book’ as this is as good as any explanation of adventure that is my world. It also goes someway to explaining why reading is more challenging now, I had felt it was just because I saw technique and constructs ahead of a story, but in fact it is a lack of need to escape; I escape into a wonderful world everytime I wake up.
The exploration of new worlds challenges our own perspectives, it exposes new opportunities and often strengthens our own resolve. Travelling to new lands makes this easier to engage, we expect to be confronted with different ways and understandings, navigating a foreign language reinforces the need to be more open and receptive. It is much harder to do on your own doorstep.
The manner in which you leave is as important as the style you arrive, the first impression you make can so easily be destroyed by a misinterpreted ending. Deep and engaging conversation in itself paints a significant impression on the canvas, in ending a meaningful debate it is vital not to undermine the passion of your argument by simply walking away disinterested.
Open questions left unanswered niggle in the background, promises made with no way of delivering, the warmth within the moment not cooled but frozen. Maybe this is the best of a bad bunch, would any other choice actually have a better outcome. Its hard to discover something wonderful and special and accept it’s place is not on your mantle but for it to vanish forever, is simply too extreme.
In days of old a gentleman’s word would never be broken, a duel to the death not uncommon for lesser offences, but conflicting arguments abound in a society that has vastly deregulated this institution. The imagination has been led to the dawn of a new world by wordsmiths that paint an artists view of freedom, every story has its villains and ideals. Society understandably can not keep pace with its own confusion.
Modern day romantic comedies bounce the emotions of heartbreak at us, love is defeated by circumstance until the last moment when we thank the lord for all the stars aligning. It doesn’t happen in the everyday. Rarely do we recognise the decisions that create the chance missed, nor act when all could be different. Karma has no control to apply, as much as we hold it dear to us, it is about giving not receiving.
To break a word to ensure another’s world is settled must be justified, living within my own doubt rippled pond is one thing but to allow another to share that space involuntarily is unforgivable. I do respect your desire to dissolve into history completely if indeed this is your wish, your afterglow will remain beautiful and everlasting.
However if I have misinterpreted your desire and accidentally offended your sensibilities, it is hard to entertain personal examination and not be offended by someone that simply walks away, then I want you to know I don’t wish your afterglow to be my only memory of you. There are ways to continue a voyage without a physical intent, you have so much more to explore.
You may indeed interpret this breach of my word negatively and strike me down, I am prepared to wear this punishment as the burden of the above is far greater to me.